The Mind Lab of Larry Snow|
Only five months to go before I am sinking German Ships. I get a sub and I'll be the best damn subterfuger they ever saw.
(Posted at 06:19:57 PM EDT.)
In my subterfuge I have been forced to flee. I am the fugitive of subterfuge.
(Posted at 04:19:02 PM EDT.)
Today I was out behind the bank subterfuging and some of the attendants came out and asked me what I was doing. I said, "subterfuge" and they asked me to leave.
(Posted at 04:16:35 PM EDT.)
The Days of My Youth
I had a vision, one Earth of Buffalo, roaming, free. I think I hear a drum.
(Posted at 09:36:24 AM EDT.)
New Drink for Starbucks
It is called a Nescrappe. Don't worry, customers won't get it you elitist pricks.
(Posted at 07:15:24 AM EDT.)
The wine with the rubber cork in it is fancy-smancy.
(Posted at 04:35:26 PM EDT.)
Creamer of Gnaw
I ran out of milk so I mixed some coffee creamer with water for my cereal. It tastes surprisingly good. Hey FTP Frank, how many lumps of sugar does your Sarah L. who lives in the rabbit hole like to gnaw on? I don't have enough coffee creamer here to make her cereal too. She'll have to eat sugar lumps.
(Posted at 07:30:10 AM EDT.)
FTP Frank and Sarah L.
FTP Frank FTPed me again and said that he thought he had a chance with Sarah L. I bet Sarah L. lives down a rabbit hole.
(Posted at 07:24:02 AM EDT.)
I had a dream last night that a big rat ran across my chest. I woke up and yelled "RAT!!!", threw all my covers off and jumped out of bed. There wasn't any rat, but I could have sworn something ran across my chest.
(Posted at 07:22:25 AM EDT.)
FTP Franks's Shed Address
FTP Frank lives in Frankfurt VA! Ahhh-HA-HA !!! I got you didn't I FTP Frank! You thought I was going to give out your shed address, well I didn't. Now you will forever have to sweat in fear wondering when I may or may not put your shed address up on the net. You can't stay online forever FTP Frank.
(Posted at 06:29:38 PM EDT.)
FTP Frank that is the LAST STRAW
I thought it was funny that my one post didn't have a title. I knew it was you FTP Frank all along! And to think I attributed it to the "Title Eating Monster"! I just wanted you to admit it. Now I am gonna give out the home address of your shed in the next post I put up FTP Frank. FTP FRANK'S SHED ADDRESS IN THE NEXT POST - BE SURE TO READ IT!!!
(Posted at 06:25:49 PM EDT
The Abduction of FTP Frank
FTP Frank just FTPed me and told me that "gravy" was not the answer to the riddle. Well guess what FTP Frank, normal contributing members of society do not believe things said by people who live in sheds. And that means you FTP Frank since you live in a shed that isn't even yours I might add. Furthermore I would like to point out that it is people like you that the government targets to do their fake alien abductions and autopsies on to cover up whatever they are putting into gravy. I'm not saying I have or haven't ever worked for the government FTP Frank, I'm just saying you'd better watch it or pretty soon there is gonna be a documentary on Discovery about how FTP Frank was forced to eat blue mimeograph with the blue inky flying fat girl. So fuck you FTP Frank and the fey sailboat you sailed in on. The answer will forever and ever, ever "gravy". Now, you'd better go watch the skies FTP Frank, watch them.
(Posted at 06:16:53 PM EDT.)
Do you remember that dumbass riddle that went around a couple months ago and had everybody in an uproar? The riddle was: "There are three words in the English language that end in "gry". ONE is angry and the other is hungry. EveryONE knows what the third ONE means and what it stands for. EveryONE uses them everyday, and if you listened very carefully, I"ve given you the third word. What is it? __________gry?" Well I figured it out all on my own. It wasn't whatever dumbass answer they said it was it was what I discovered. The answer to the riddle is gravy. Everyone uses gravy everyday and loves it. I'm gonna go fill my bathtub with gravy right now and slide in to my gravy bath. I'm a master mind. Feel my mental wizardry.
(Posted at 06:00:51 PM EDT.)
Blue Inky Flying Fat Girl
I've been thinking about it. I didn't hap onto this whole mimeograph blue ink thing by chance; this is BIGGER than me and I know it. I'm way out of my league. This is better than Alien Autopsy, cause the blue ink is real, very real... Hell, I bet if that monster truck fat woman who spread Nutello on the Fig Newton I gave here were here right now and we had some blue ink mimeographs, she'd scarf them right up. All that blue ink would get all pasty around her fat swollen lips and she drool blue inky saliva just like a big blue fat fly. Then I'd say "Air Raid!" and her big fat blue oozing fly ass would pinball through the air in fear just like Mr. Presely. Mr. Presely said aliens are real and that why he is a memeber of the NRA cause pretty soon the aliens are going to Battlefield Earth and he wants to protect himself. FTP Frank, do me a favor, ask you new age crystal panzy friends what they think of the blue ink and monster truck fat girls who might or might not eat it.
(Posted at 02:52:11 PM EDT.)
FTP Frank get a CLUE-DOE
Money isn't in the Internet. Money or doe, as we call it around here, is in the blue ink mimeographs cause people love the way it smells. Down with FTP Frank and his world wide money pit of conspiracy.
(Posted at 02:23:45 PM EDT.)
All the photocopying machines are going to get disposed of and instead we are going to use those mimeograph machines that use the blue ink cause I like the smell of that blue ink. It makes me feel funny in the head.
(Posted at 02:20:46 PM EDT.)
FTP Frank CUT IT OUT!!!
To prove that the Internet was a good investment, FTP Frank just changed the "ph" of phone to "ff" in my previous post. FTP Frank, I'm warning you. If you keep horsing around and I'm going to post the address of that shed you live in on a couple sites. I bet you are living there illegally anyway. Do the Martin's know you live in their shed? I know your mom knows the Martins, but that doesn't count for two-wong-foos in the real world. You and your shitty looser shed FTP Frank. You are on the damn net to much. You ought to go out and get some sun. Fear me FTP Frank, fear me. I know where you shed.
(Posted at 08:35:58 AM EDT.)
FTP Frank ffoned me the other day and said I should invest in the Internet cause pretty soon it was going to be worth big money. Maybe. I just don't buy it.
(Posted at 08:25:07 AM EDT.)
The Title Eating Monster
A monster must have eaten the title on the post I did before this one.
(Posted at 08:13:49 AM EDT.)
I had to clean the Sky Lights the other day. So I got up on the roof and I started shouting "Air Raid!" and old man Presley who lives across the road hit the ground. I felt pretty bad.
(Posted at 08:11:30 AM EDT.)
One time I met this monster truck fat woman. She was nice. I offered her a Fig Newton and she took it. She spread Nutello on it and said it was "Tasty".
(Posted at 08:07:50 AM EDT.)
Slippery Slut Math
So there are these two denominators, and they hire a slutty numerator. The next thing you know, you have a compound fraction spit roast going on. Show me your slope.
(Posted at 09:10:50 AM EDT.)
Example of Number Crackers
I copied this from this off the Web:
"Psychedelic hate noise, that's my buzz phrase. NEW MIND is what happens when I sit down to make music with a computer and samplers..."
This toolbox sounds like a Number Cracker. I bet he got all the way up to fractions.
Link: Visit the Example Number Cracker on the Web
(Posted at 09:02:31 AM EDT.)
That is what they call the smart white boys. Number Crackers.
(Posted at 08:59:04 AM EDT.)
The young lambs crying through the frost,
They sound like church bells, sending their voices to my tender ear drum upon on the soft wind. These are things I can't live without! My ear spasm like Jell-O and then I feel like taking a dump! Just kidding. But I do have to take a dump.
(Posted at 08:51:06 AM EDT.)
Roller coaster of a Day
Little spinning oriental girls with flower petal arms, NOW THAT IS EXCITING!
(Posted at 09:14:16 PM EDT.)
Sometimes when I answer the phone I put on a pig mask and pretend I am in the movie Killing Zoe. Does that mean I'm creepy? I've got a Rose Perot mask. I think that is creepier.
(Posted at 09:12:26 PM EDT.)
I was rooting through the company mail bin today and I pulled some other peoples mail out. Somebody had received a postcard. On it there are all these mountain sheep on go figure, a mountain. And the mountain sheep on this mountain were eating mountain grasses. Then there was this guy in a Speedo suit on a mountain bike riding past the mountain sheep on the mountain. I'm so glad my friend don't mail me dumb shit.
(Posted at 01:48:24 PM EDT.)
The dog has been into some bad meat again. He came home with a bunch of baby white grubs on his face.
(Posted at 01:03:05 PM EDT.)
Man or Robo
Nevermind... It was just some dude on a trapeze...
(Posted at 08:28:13 PM EDT.)
Rejected Letter to the Editor
Dear Voodoo Lady,
I do not want you Voodoo Child. Take him back.
(Posted at 08:25:11 PM EDT.)
Melts in Egypt not in the Nile
I heard that some explorers found food remnants of something very much like M and M's in King Tut's tomb. Go figure, King Tut eating M and M's. I read that in National Geographic.
(Posted at 07:22:22 PM EDT.)
Use one square of toilet paper when you shit. Conservation is key.
(Posted at 06:22:19 PM EDT.)
The Poop Read I left for K-Mart
I wrote this on the bathroom wall at K-Mart. "I put a wiffle ball and bat on Layaway at your store. Then I picked it up, but I didn't pay, I kidnapped it out of the store. Then I jammed it into a soda machine outside, just like I was a cat burglar. I went back later and got my wiffle batty bat and wiffle balling wiffle out. Then I swung over to McDonalds and got my picture taken smacking Hamburglar up side his burger beefy head with my wiffle bat and I mailed the photos to the K-Mart management, the FBI and OCPD. I signed all the photos, With Love, Larry Snow." I left my home phone number below my message on the K-Mart wall and later that week the store management rang me and they gave me the third degree. I told them it was a joke. I don't know if they got it.
(Posted at 01:24:07 PM EDT.)
If Tank Girl went to the Bonanza Family Style restaurant and ordered a Rib-eye, would she say "Tank you very much" when they gave her Rib-eye? I bet she would. She looks like a slut.
Link: Tank Girl
(Posted at 12:47:37 PM EDT.)
Time to Question the State of Your Life
If you own a dog, that you refer to as a "human" because the dog is smarter than the other people that cohabit your home, you might want to question just how it is you are living.
(Posted at 08:33:01 PM EDT.)
Show me your scabby nose. That's what he said and I punched him.
(Posted at 08:27:58 PM EDT.)
Air Traffic Control
I could bring the planes right in, and then just when the pilots weren't looking, I'd throw Styrofoam cups full of hot coffee at them just to keep them on their toes.
(Posted at 07:07:56 PM EDT.)
Funny Idea for a Movie
A stoner staring into outer space crying. If you'd like to use my idea, it is copyrighted. You'll have to pay me boku-cash in order to use my idea.
(Posted at 06:10:54 PM EDT.)
More people should write stuff and post it on the Internet.
Link: Interesting Writing Stuff
(Posted at 04:46:19 PM EDT.)
Welcome to Larry Snow's Mind Lab
Go to [Next 40] [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 ] [Previous 40]
Come visit my Mind Lab. It will be updated regularly by my mind. At some point, I will write up my biography and feature it here. That is also from my mind.
- Larry Snow