The Mind Lab of Larry Snow|
Willy Wonka - 6 Jim Shooter - 0
(Posted at 8:59:37 AM EST.)
Jim, if you of paid your membership fees on time, I would have said Willy Wonka was real. But I can't support you on this
(Posted at 8:57:56 AM EST.)
Thursday, January 3, 2002
..........did you think I'd forgotten because of Christmas vacation?
I never forget.
(Posted at 6:30:45 AM EST.)
Wednesday, January 2, 2002
I am back from Christmas Vacation.
(Posted at 12:45:16 PM EST.)
Friday, December 14, 2001
Willy Wonka - 5 Jim Shooter - 0
(Posted at 7:09:18 AM EST.)
immy, I made you! And what is the thanks you give? Only you're back that you've turned on those who gave you a helping
hand when you needed it most. Now you lead the so-called sophisticated life of a socialite. Just like you've forgotten how to
ride a tractor, you've forgotten your friends. No, you only talk to people who play golf and hang at oxygen bars. You're a Jtraitor! Willy Wonka and is no more real than our friendship and I don't care about your new friends! So quit sending me
letters bragging about the high-life and all your playboy pow-wows. You're a RAT JIM SHOOTER, YOU'RE A FAT RAT
IN THE WORST WAY!!!
(Posted at 7:07:17 AM EST.)
Thursday, December 13, 2001
Message from Corneal Mustard - Fake Teeth?
Good God Girk Jim. How is she going to eat her KFC? You have no soul.
(Posted at 3:41:47 PM EST.)
It is looking grim Jim. On that note, I'm gonna go snap into a Slim Jim.
Willy Wonka - 4 Jim Shooter - 0
(Posted at 3:34:33 PM EST.)
Employee Message from the Whore Next-Door
The devil is right! Jimmy is going to burn! He slept with me too! He promised me
he buy me some new false teeth, but he hasn't yet! That filthy liar, telling fibs to a
helpless 72 year old woman! I hope he burns forever!!!
(Posted at 3:31:46 PM EST.)
Wednesday, December 12, 2001
Message from Corneal Mustard - The fake devil?
Jim, I've gotta burst you're bubble, you're point is getting revoked and given to Willy Wonka. If you had of counted carefully,
the devil should have been employee "4" and not employee "3". There was the Nurse, Wil, Cal and then the devil. It just like
Clue really. So that means, the devil was fake. When you found that 1-900 talk to satan number, that went to my office. It was me on the other end of the phone who said I'd vote for you. You didn't know it was me, because I've got one of those
gizmos that changes your voice over the phone. So I'm afraid we've gotta put the score back at:
Willy Wonka - 3 Jim Shooter - 0
(Posted at 8:55:28 AM EST.)
Back in the game
It looks like you are still in the game Jim. I don't know if I'd want to be still in the
game that way, but I've got to hand it to you. You aren't vice president of Chook
for nothing. You're ruthless.
Willy Wonka - 2 Jim Shooter - 1
(Posted at 8:40:48 AM EST.)
Employee number three: The Devil
Jim is right about Willy Wonka, he's real. I know, because I've got Willy's soul just like I'm
gonna get Jimmy's for sleeping with those prostitutes! And to think, ol' Jim-bob is a
married man. What will his wife and kids say when Jimmy is roasting in hell? They'll
say "Burn Jim, Burn!!!!"
(Posted at 8:33:06 AM EST.)
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Thanks Employee Ripken
Willy Wonka - 2 Jim Shooter - 0
(Posted at 5:18:46 PM EST.)
I just popped by to say hey what's up Larry. And great time last week at the BBQ! Those BBQ-sauce ladies were something
else! To the point though, and let me say why I stopped by the office today. Willy Wonka is fake. Just because I got my
picture on the Big League Chew pack, doesn't mean that every individual who is pictured on candy is likewise real. Come on
Jim! Get with the program and quit striking out!
(Posted at 5:16:59 PM EST.)
Monday, December 10, 2001
I guess that makes the current score:
Willy Wonka - 1 Jim Shooter - 0
(Posted at 5:30:06 PM EST.)
Message from Will Rodgers
Hi, I'm Will Rodgers. I don eat no canty, I jus eat finga liken chicken cuz itz goooooooood. Smack crackle pop chicken bone in wok with a little fish sauce. Nah, candy aint food, it is fake food. So anybody on a candy box has ita-ergo gotta be fake too!!! Well I gotta go hit the yard with a rake, and buy some dough to bake, and russle me some chicken and make some chicken fried steak.
(Posted at 5:26:01 PM EST.)
I'm a little late into the office today... Well, I guess I'll just have to make do on the
employee posting front and just work with whoever I can grab.
(Posted at 5:17:05 PM EST.)
Alice, oh Alice! I love your nurse outfit! That is something swell! Hiring you was
defiantly the best thing I've ever done for Chook Industries. And I have absolutely
no idea what Garjoe is. But I'm glad you like it. So, stop by my office and we can
talk about it, and be sure to wear the nurse outfit. Hubba-hubba!
(Posted at 1:04:08 PM EST.)
Message from Alice Woods
I'm not really sure what to type other than I like working for Chook. I also wonder about the Garjoe theme and if Mr. Snow
knows when it is coming down?
(Posted at 10:11:47 AM EST.)
Thursday, December 6, 2001
Message from Willy M. Wonka
Jim's mad again. He thought I was just going to talk about employee relations and not mention Willy Wonka anymore. Well
Jim, "I am not a crook, I am Willy M. Wonka."
- Willy M. Wonka
(Posted at 10:31:45 AM EST.)
Project: Goodwill-Willy Wonka
I Willy Wonka decry and decree, that after the botched Willy Wonka sessions with Jim Shooter, that Chook Industries will
band together to try and save Mr. Shooter from further embarrassment that he did not know who Willy Wonka was. This
grandiose cover-up will be a display of unity, team work and the love that is the human spirit, which was also employed in other famous cover-ups such as the Watergate. But where Watergate failed, Chook shall endeavor. To accomplish these ends,
Jim's posts about Willy Wonka will be the first in a series of posts by Chook employees on the Mind Lab. In these posts, I will
select an employee and have a chat. These chats will act as disinformation, and draw attention away from the fact that Jim
thought Willy Wonka was flesh and blood, just like Richard Nixon.
- Cordially Yours, Willy Wonka Esquire
(Posted at 10:27:46 AM EST.)
Message from Jim Shooter
After speaking at length today with Larry, I have agreed to be the first of a series of posters in a new project that Larry will be
overseeing on the Mind Lab over the course of the next couple weeks that aims to better employee relations. Larry
will be explain the purpose and projected goal of this project.
(Posted at 10:08:20 AM EST.)
Wednesday, December 5, 2001
End of Posting Session
Jimmy thinks I typed Willy Wonka on purpose. He's mad I do believe, I do, I do believe. I can hear him sharpening pencils in
the other room as I type. Jim, you should be happy. Although my fingers were typing on the keypad, I wasn't typing. This can
only mean one thing; that the spirit of Willy Wonka entered into my body and typed the message for me, which means that Willy Wonka must be real after all. Jim, you should be happy. You were right and I was wrong. Willy Wonka is not a
fictional character associated with candy, but he's real, oh so very real! We could do a movie, just like the "Sixth Sense", and
rather than say "I see dead people", I could say "I see Willy Wonka".
(Posted at 8:38:28 AM EST.)
Message from Willy Wonka
Good morning everybody, this is Willy Wonka. It is my feeling that Chook Industries is the new business of the millennium and it
will go far.
- Willy Wonka
(Posted at 8:28:46 AM EST.)
Message from Jim Shooter
Good morning everybody, this is Jim Shooter. It is my feeling that Chook Industries is the new business of the millennium and it
will go far.
(Posted at 8:26:04 AM EST.)
Jim is gonna post again this morning to show that there are no hard feelings between he and I over the Willy Wonka
incident and that Chook lives and dies as a team. Here we go; Jim first.
(Posted at 8:23:26 AM EST.)
Tuesday, December 4, 2001
Further Message from Larry
Jimmy pissed off now! Woooo-weeee! He's trying not to show it, but I can tell. He's madder than a hornet! Look at Jimmy
buzzing around! I told him he could reply back on the Mind Lab if he wanted to, but he doesn't want to, because he's afraid that would show distention among the ranks. Well Jim, no distention among the ranks would be shown if you replied back.
Everybody knows that the name Willy Wonka is a fictional one associated with candy. You're lack of familiarity with this piece
of trivia is just a bad demonstration of intellect on you part, not distention. Oh no. Jim just buzzed out of my office under the
premise that he has some papers to file. I bet he's not going to file papers at all... I bet he's off to get other people's opinion if
Willy Wonka is real or not.
(Posted at 12:28:23 PM EST.)
A reply to Jim from Larry
Jim, that was the dumbest post I've ever read. I can't believe that you even posted
(Posted at 12:11:57 PM EST.)
Message from Jim Shooter
Larry has asked me to post on the Mind Lab and ask as to whether or not anyone
knew if Willy Wonka was a real name or not.
(Posted at 12:09:03 PM EST.)
I squealed wheels and cut wind at the same exact moment this morning at a stop
light. I heard that is what they do at NASCAR for good luck.
(Posted at 8:59:47 AM EST.)
Saturday, December 1, 2001
World Leader Phone
And they need a World Leader Phone too. That way I and other World Leaders
could check in daily on the World Leader Phone. Maybe I'll set that one up myself.
(Posted at 9:31:44 AM EST.)
I didn't find a Bible Phone as such, but I did find a pretty good Homework Hotline for a TV show that airs on WV PBS. I'll
come up with a list of questions for them. Their number is 1-800-278-1290. Homework Hotlines are good and all, but what
they need more of (in addition to the Bible Phone), is something where people can get just plain stupid, like the Stupid Hotline. That way after you were all smart on the Homework Hotline, you could get super stupid on the Stupid Hotline.
(Posted at 9:03:27 AM EST.)
Friday, November 30, 2001
Everyday for the past two weeks I've gone home and tried to read the Bible. But
it's way to long. I think what I need, is a Bible phone. It would be just like the
weather phone, except the Bible phone wouldn't tell you if it was going to be sunny
or rain, but read you some of the Bible.
(Posted at 12:39:42 PM EST.)
Thursday, November 29, 2001
If I'm actually gonna sneak in the princess's room, I'd better be careful. She might have laser beam alarm guard, or maybe even
one of those robotic cats that reports into the CIA. If you snap the cat tale off though, you're home free. Cause that is where
the antenna is and without the antenna, the CIA can't locate the cat. I could always send Benji in and have him bite the cat tale
off.... hmmmm.... maybe even get some wet ware and do him up like C.H.O.M.P.S.
Get the dynamite out of here!
(Posted at 9:02:41 AM EST.)
Wednesday, November 28, 2001
I kinda of wish my name was Fuji. Then I could use Fuji Film, and when I went to pick up my pictures from the developers I
could say Fuji Film for Mr. Fuji please. I knew a guy called Fuji, although we never called him Fuji. We just called him
MacDaddy. I don't know why we called him MacDaddy.... it was just one of those things. I guess when he went to the developers he said, Fuji Film for MacDaddy please.
(Posted at 10:05:39 AM EST.)
Is Mt. Fuji on the front of the Fuji Film box?
(Posted at 9:55:05 AM EST.)
Every time I goto Walmart, I get one free roll of Fuji Film. The princess gets, oh, at
least two, but sometimes three or four. Walmart must smell royalty.
(Posted at 9:51:52 AM EST.)
Tuesday, November 27, 2001
Does the princess eat pork? And if so, does that make her the princess of pork?
(Posted at 7:18:08 AM EST.)
Monday, November 26, 2001
The Princess Debate
I met this girl last night and she explained to me how she only ate elegant foods. And she didn't say it once, but she said it
TWO TIMEs. Two times a lady. She must be a princess. I'm thinking about setting a debate.
(Posted at 11:24:52 AM EST.)
Wednesday, November 21, 2001
Final Message from Jim Shooter
Larry should be returning today.
(Posted at 8:09:42 AM EST.)
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Come visit my Mind Lab. It will be updated regularly by my mind. At some point, I will write up my biography and feature it here. That is also from my mind.
- Larry Snow