The Mind Lab of Larry Snow|
Eggs in the morning
Eggs in the morning eggs all the time, serve um up with bacon, and jelly
(Posted at 9:24:01 AM EST.)
Wednesday, March 13, 2002
Talking with History
I just had a multi-billion dollar idea. What if you could talk to History, with a capital
H? Think about, History a bonified persona just like Jesus, with a capital J, or
Prince prior symbol era, with a capitol P. Wow.
(Posted at 10:21:23 AM EST.)
Call me Superman
Man that trip to New Jersey, I mean the Outer Banks was some really reall tough
stuff. The men were separated from the boys and I hurt my finger really bad. It still
hurts, but I'm not a boy with hurt finger; I'm a man, in fact the man, on the move and on the run from the New Jersey Devil with a hurt finger. Actually, I don't think it
hurts anymore. Call me Superman and if I see the Jersey Devil again he's going to
leave the ring with more than a couple cracked ribs.
(Posted at 7:24:52 AM EST.)
Monday, February 11, 2002
President Larry Snow will be away in the Outer Banks for the next month
investigating business opportunities. During his absence, Jim Shooter
will be acting President.
(Posted at 12:55:13 PM EST.)
I'm gonna write 1982 on the bottom of my shoe and put it in the hall and see what people do.
(Posted at 8:20:14 AM EST.)
I'm getting pretty good at taking my shoe off and throwing it.
(Posted at 8:18:33 AM EST.)
Thursday, February 7, 2002
What is this...
500 word blurb... that doesn't make sense.
I'd better call the weather phone.
(Posted at 9:17:00 PM EST.)
Wednesday, February 6, 2002
The PAIN IS BLINDING
OHHHHHH MY !!!!
Where is Benji?
up ----- the telephone is ringing, I'd better get it.
(Posted at 7:31:02 AM EST.)
I just came screaming down the hallway and decked somebody, I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER --- it was at about 200 hundred yards at oh,say 70-80 miles an hour. You can pick up a bunch of extra speed if you use the loading carts. But this time, I mugged up! I busted up my nose and now it is bleeding everywhere! I couldn't stop the flow so I broke into the women's bathroom and got some tampons out of the vendig machine, and crimped one up my nose. And now, OH MY GOD IT HURTS LIKE BITCH!!!! IT KEEPS SWELLEN AND NOW I CAN'T GET IT OUT!!!!
(Posted at 7:28:11 AM EST.)
Tuesday, February 5, 2002
Do walabees bite?
(Posted at 10:18:13 AM EST.)
Super Bowl Monday Paper Chip Rage
Oh my God! I just realized when I posted my message yesterday in my drunken Super Bowl rage, that I lost Benji months
ago. That means nobody was guarding the door! Anybody, a hobo, a gypsy, a fireman, even a nun, could have seen the paper
chip drafts!!! I'd better speak to Clint pronto and have him do me up a couple fake paper chip drafts so as to divert the fire in my STOMACH THAT IS RAGING RIGHT NOW. I CANNOT THINK ABOUT THE SITUATION AT HAND!!! I
NEED TO CONCENTRATE! Maybe I shouldn't have chugged that thing of salsa.... I'll write that on my hand in permanent
marker and have it tattooed on me just like that guy in Mentos, the movie. Man, I still can't figure out how that they made a
Spanish candy commercial into a successful movie. It is beyond me.
(Posted at 9:36:21 AM EST.)
Super Bowl Sunday
It's already been a super bowl Sunday. I ate too much "fire" salsa this morning and spent the past two hours on the can. We always rage early. Marcus made us all bloody marys. I hope the guys haven't seen the schematics for the 'paper chip'. I hung them in the study last night. I should have put Benji in there to guard the door...
(Posted at 4:24:37 PM EST.)
Paper Basket of Money
I just balled up a piece of paper and threw it in the wastebasket. To think, if the paper chip were an actuality, my action would
have been equivalent to balling up 10,000 dollars, or maybe more.
(Posted at 9:57:33 AM EST.)
Thursday, January 31, 2002
I went to get a sausage, and when I came back some punk had slipped a paper on my car. I chased him across the parking lot in my Hummer. It's always something, isn't it?
(Posted at 2:33:54 PM EST.)
My new standup act is a riot. It's all about computers. Here are a few of the choice puns I'll be using: It's HARD to DRIVE, so my system CRASHED. It should have BACKED UP. Now it has a slipped DISC! I can't think of anything for motherboard or PCI...
(Posted at 12:14:35 AM EST.)
Wednesday, January 30, 2002
It could be made of DIAMONDS!
(Posted at 11:53:55 PM EST.)
What if - they had a computer chip made out of paper.
(Posted at 7:29:32 PM EST.)
I've had more E.T.s, but it is Friday. So, bye.
(Posted at 8:45:20 PM EST.)
Thursday, January 24, 2002
I think I need to insert more philosophy into my life.
(Posted at 7:23:43 PM EST.)
Wednesday, January 23, 2002
Zap Zap Zap
(Posted at 10:53:41 AM EST.)
Does anybody know if Quasar is part of the X-games?
(Posted at 10:25:47 AM EST.)
Tuesday, January 22, 2002
How did it arrive?
I don't know if it was intentionally placed here or not.... but it is quite disturbing and
it is probably going to take me a little time as to figure out what exactly I should do.
That's always a pretty hairy question when you get down to it.
(Posted at 3:27:43 AM EST.)
I've got like 30,000 pennies. That Means I've got 300 dollars; just about the price of an X-Box.
(Posted at 7:26:47 AM EST.)
Message from Larry Snow
The ceremonies are over. So whichever it was, the Devil or Corneal Mustard who
was swinging by my office today; they don't have to bother. I NEED to figure out
how to get onto the roof of the building now! Why does everything have to be so
(Posted at 9:26:37 AM EST.)
Thursday, January 17, 2002
Message from Cal Ripken
If you want to win Jim, you have got to know what it feels like to loose. I know it may sound cheesy with me being a pro
athlete and all, but it is just like a good game of baseball. And Larry, another BBQ this Saturday at my place. So bring a bag
of Lays; cause check out what this week's "I bet you can't eat just one" dare is: Looser smokes some crack. You're going to
be soooo high is all I'm saying!
(Posted at 10:47:03 AM EST.)
Wednesday, January 16, 2002
Message from Will Rodgers
I'm so happy pappy we won this here ting tang that I'm gots me a whole bucket of
finger pickin chicken that I'm throwing inta the air!!! Chicken from
Heaven! The Lords Chicken tastes like amebiabrosia!!!! Even chickens are eating
(Posted at 12:00:54 PM EST.)
Tuesday, January 15, 2002
Ohhhhh Nurse Alice!
Don't feel bad. Winning and loosing is like the cookie jar of life. Sometimes it is empty because I've emptied it myself. And
you, my little cookie of good fortune, can bring up Project Garjoe as much as your little heart desires. Project Garjoe, I believe
is going into effect next week. But I have to meet with Jim about it first. In the meantime Alice, how's about you and me
partake in the delights of some cookies!
(Posted at 11:27:39 AM EST.)
Message from Alice Woods
Hi. I feel badly about all this revoting stuff that is going on... I know it means a lot to TJ, but in the end I'm not sure if it is worth
it. Is winning really worth that much? I guess the only other thing I'd like to ask is about Garjoe again. I'm sorry to keep
bringing that up.
(Posted at 11:23:44 AM EST.)
Let Willy Wonka Games Celebrations Commence!
Before the celebrations and commentary begin, I just want to say that it is a privilege to award all winning
participators with their medals. I would also remind these players, that not everybody got a medal (Jim
Shooter did not get a medal) and to please bear this and the etiquette of good sportsmanship in mind and
action. That said, let the celebrations commence!
(Posted at 8:46:06 AM EST.)
Willy Wonka - 9 Jim Shooter - 0
(Posted at 10:22:10 AM EST.)
Message from Larry Snow
I'd like to thank all the employees of Chook, especially those who brought gifts like Amazon.com (that book on the life of Ali is
great), for showing Jim the error in his thinking without making him feel like a complete jerk. I felt the whole session was
conducted in a very professional manner and hope to conduct like sessions in the future. And Alice, you are a little minx!
(Posted at 10:18:16 AM EST.)
Thursday, January 10, 2002
Willy Wonka - 9 Jim Shooter - 0
(Posted at 12:43:31 PM EST.)
Wonka.com does not indicate that Willy Wonka is or was a real figure in history like Abe Lincoln or Moses.
Nice Willy Wonka Flash - Very Worthwhile.
(Posted at 12:42:07 PM EST.)
Wednesday, January 9, 2002
Amazon.com didn't answer the question, so the score is still the same.
Willy Wonka - 8 Jim Shooter - 0
(Posted at 8:35:45 AM EST.)
Yes. Willy Wonka is a real movie, and you can buy it at:
Buy Willy Wonka Now
(Posted at 8:33:49 AM EST.)
Willy Wonka - 8 Jim Shooter - 0
(Posted at 9:53:21 AM EST.)
Jim, Gene is all yours! And don't think he is going to give you a Blow Pop either. Every goddman time that bastard would ask
to see my ass, with the promise that he'd give me a Blow Pop if I showed him, he always said he forgot the Blow Pop and had
to go to his car to get it. DON'T THINK HE'S PAYING. Willy Wonka is NOT real and neither are the Blow Pops! I wonder if he even has a car.
(Posted at 9:52:05 AM EST.)
But maybe you can Score...
A point with Gene that is.
(Posted at 12:00:29 PM EST.)
Willy Wonka - 7 Jim Shooter - 0
(Posted at 11:59:20 AM EST.)
Hey Jim, I don't think Willy Wonka is real, because I played him in a movie. But,
I'm real, and very single. How's about you and me go for a drink some time? And if
you like sweat stuff, have I got something for you if you know what I mean.
(Posted at 11:57:40 AM EST.)
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Come visit my Mind Lab. It will be updated regularly by my mind. At some point, I will write up my biography and feature it here. That is also from my mind.
- Larry Snow